We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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