saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
