I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
