Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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