he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
