her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
