I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
