Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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