SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
