You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
