Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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