I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
