This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
