I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
