omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
