At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I think I just sharted jello shots
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