Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
