just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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