Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
