We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
