Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
