Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
