Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
