I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so let's talk penis.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
