Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize