Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
