the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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