Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
