Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
