I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she peed on how many people?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
