Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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