Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
