Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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