Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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