Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
