Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
