you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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