Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize