I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize