I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
