Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
