oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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