Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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