I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
