would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
