do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My dick has a subreddit
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize