whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
