Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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