he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
