I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's great music for shaving your balls
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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