I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
