I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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