i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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