hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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