the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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