shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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