Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
