I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
