whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
