yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
