I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
