I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
